Identifying Abuse

Emotional abuse is consistently and persistently undermining a person’s sense of self-worth. Examples include constant criticism, belittling one’s abilities, name-calling, and damaging a partner’s relationship with the children. For more information about the different kinds of abuse, click here.

Am I Being Abused? (A Checklist)

Spiral of Violence

Cycle of Violence

Healthy vs. Unhealthy Relationships

Types of Abuse

Am I Being Abused? (A Checklist)

Provided by the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence

Look over the following questions. Think about how you are being treated and how you treat your partner. Remember, when one person scares, hurts or continually puts down the other person, it’s abuse.

Does your partner…

____ Embarrass or make fun of you in front of your friends or family?

____ Put down your accomplishments or goals?

____ Make you feel like you are unable to make decisions?

____ Use intimidation or threats to gain compliance?

____ Tell you that you are nothing without them?

____ Treat you roughly – grab, push, pinch, shove or hit you?

____ Call you several times a night or show up to make sure you are where you said you would be?

____ Use drugs or alcohol as an excuse for saying hurtful things or abusing you?

____ Blame you for how they feel or act?

____ Pressure you sexually for things you aren’t ready for?

____ Make you feel like there “is no way out” of the relationship?

____ Prevent you from doing things you want—like spending time with your friends or family?

____Try to keep you from leaving after a fight or leave you somewhere after a fight to “teach you a lesson”?

Do you…

____ Sometimes feel scared of how your partner will act?

____ Constantly make excuses to other people for your partner’s behavior?

____ Believe that you can help your partner change if only you changed something about yourself?

____ Try not to do anything that would cause conflict or make your partner angry?

____ Always do what your partner wants you to do instead of what you want?

____Stay with your partner because you are afraid of what your partner would do if you broke-up?

If any of these are happening in your relationship on a consistent basis, talk to someone. Without some help, the abuse will continue.

Spiral of Violence

Violence against Women: A Lifetime Spiral

From The Asian & Pacific Islander Institute on Domestic Violence

Domestic violence is just one amongst many forms of violence against women. From the aborting of female fetuses to intimate homicide, girls and women can encounter numerous oppressions during infancy, childhood, adolescence, adulthood, and as elders. Some of these are confined to one stage in the lifecycle, some continue into subsequent stages. Violence against women is more than physical, sexual, economic and emotional abuse; it is also about living in a climate of fear, misery, loss, mistrust, humiliation and despair. The lives of abused Asian and Pacific Islander women are shadowed by the cultural burdens of shame and devaluation. These abuses are experienced in the context of additional oppressions based on race, ethnicity, age, sexual orientation, gender identity, type of labor being performed, level of education, class position, disability, or immigration/refugee status.

Cycle of Violence From Turning Point Services (

The Cycle of Violence includes 3 stages:

The Tension Building Stage

The Violent Episode

The Absence of Violence StageDomestic violence increases in frequency and severity.

It is never an isolated incident or a one-time occurrence.

Healthy vs. Unhealthy Relationships

Types of Abuse

For more information about the definition of domestic violence and different types of abuse, click here.

Though Raksha primarily serves the South Asian community, we provide services to all those who face similar barriers to justice, regardless of ability, country of origin, race, religion, caste, socioeconomic status, gender identity, age, immigration status, or sexual orientation.

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